Monday, December 10, 2012

If only things are so much simple.

I need a space today.

Well, today i kind of feel maligned by one of my assignment friend. Not only do i feel it, another lady which is in the same group with me also felt so.

Apparently, I met this lady during my first day in school and we decides that if there is assignment we could do together.(So that i don't have to troubled about not having assignment mate) So the max. number of people in a group is 4 and min. is 2. Okay well i admit i am quite lazy and doesn't want to do so much, so i told this lady maybe we could get another one or two to join us as the more the merrier right? Yea so we found one, another lady(called her lady bcos of her age) and her previous assignment mate, a guy. So this lady was actually abandoned by her previous group mate, she decides to join us. I didn't ask why they didnt want her that time bcos i was actually glad that we manage to find two  more group mate. We discussed about the question and all, and allocate our part of work. Okay, i am a little guilty that i choose the most easier one, so when the lady asked if we could meet as she doesnt understand. I agreed. I am more than willing to explain to her about her part of work and well i did and she did listen to what i said too(*).

All i did during this assignment was to guide her and at times i felt that i have no rights either. Because of my qualification and this is my first diploma assignment.(She already did other modules assignment, so i assume she must be a pro in it which is why at times i feel that i have no rights BUT i am wrong) I could say i am a greenhorn. While i check through her work, all she did was to type out exactly the same thing from the textbook. Okay let me ask you, if you are doing your dip assignment would you all type out exactly the same? No right? You only type exactly the same only when you define something right? Then the rest you might rephrase the sentence a bit with our own word but the content is still the same. Well some people might think that rephrasing is difficult, okay nvm i can understand. To rephrase a sentence sometimes i may take more than an hour too. At least i took the effort to rephrase, but how about her? No she never and instead she can ask me how to rephrase. (Pek chek mode here ) Well okay, i explain to her and so to how to rephrase, she SEEMS to understand. The next day all i get is " I don't understand what you mean. N how can i rephrase? " To be honest i told her several times how to rephrase which is why i am pretty pek chek again when we met to do the final compile assignment. The first thing she settled down she told the lady that i first met that she didn't do bcos she don't know how. She also told me the same thing when i settled down. You don't expect me to smile and tell you ' it's okay, i help you'. I have alrdy make thing easier for her knowing that she won't understand. I highlight the part she needs to edit for easier reference, and even states where she can add in the sentence and explains on phone what she need to do. She can actually come and say she never do because she don't understand. I really don't wanna be rude to her because she is so much older than me. SO i explains again, YES AGAIN. I just want her to point out why it is effective and efficient. Is that so difficult? She have got the material and all the correct information, all she needs to do is to put them together into a sentence. I am not requesting for 5 or 10 sentences, i just need that one and only power pact sentence she couldn't even do it for me. Before i continue, the other guy also left out the power pact sentence so i told him to do it too. He did it for me, though he search from the net instead of typing it out himself, i am very happy with his work, the lady that i first met also thinks that he did a good job although he never really participate with us alot. He made the paragraph of sentences LINKED. It was me that noted them that we need that power pact sentence. So i told this lady that i first met that lets check  through, she will check hers and i will check the guy one. She's done, all she did was adding two words. YES TWO WORDS, EFFECTIVE AND EFFICIENT. Just because i said i wanna see this two words, she really adds only this two words. ZZZ I don't know if she made it linked or what because i wasn't the one who check it. I mean what's the point? I don't even thinks she understands what is she doing.

I really don't wanna bad mouth about her because i know karma will find me. But i think it is really unfair. Well everyone do did mistakes, but eventually we will learn from it. But i don't think she will and i don't think she know what is her mistake. She thinks that she is right from her point of view. She expects people to spoon feed her. Why should i even spoon feed her? You  are 26yo and you expect a 19yo girl that knows nothing about the society, knows nothing more than what i learn from secondary school, zero knowledge to the world economics to spoon feed you. Should it be another way round, you teach me and i learn from you? I mean what have she been learning all those year? You know what, i am alrdy kindda depressed that a 18yo girl can know even more than me, and i actually have to learn from her instead of learning from me. She have seen more than me, did all sort of assignment while i did nothing at all. I felt that i am useless. Does she even feels like me? I can say no. Really, it's all written on her face. I am embarrass, i truly am. She? I also don't think so.

I really don't know what i should say now i have too many emotions in me right now. Scare, worried, not happy .... Because i know the most difficult task that i couldn't do is coming to me. Karma had came to find me upon saying all this.