Saturday, April 23, 2011

On 21April 2011,
If i hasn't say those word, things would be better now.
Mum, grandma, sister won't have to worry about me.
I ruined this family myself today.
She hates me and won't want to talk to me forever.
I am dead in her eyes, i am long gone.
I feel very sorry for what i had did.
I will never forgive myself for making grandma sad.
I will never forgive myself for what i had did,
I will never.
I will never be myself again.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

我证明了自己我很没有用。
说实在的,我很喜欢这个班。可是我看问题是出在自己的身上。
我怕,我很怕。自己很没有自信。你说我要克服我自己的障碍,对“说”.
说得很容易可是要做到很难。
你不是我,你不知道我的感受。对家人有可能我有勇气可是对与外人我并没有勇气。
我也不知道为什么。在外人面前我就是做不到自己。我很没用。
做工也怕,自我表现也怕。到底我的人生我该做什么。真的很没用。
有谁看到我努力?我看只有自己看到。
你说我懒,我打扫家的时候你没看到。
我要打扫得时候,你们就会说“奇迹”。
不打扫,你们就只会说我懒,要做少奶奶,吃好的住好的,不用做工。
我很想要做工,很想要帮忙。我就是踏不出我的第一步。
今天我发现现在我做的事我很不喜欢。我不喜欢读书。
十年的教育是必须的,我很后悔,很后悔选着要读书。
进不到自己的课程我更是不能接受。
也后悔当初没读好,或许我不是读书的料。
或许我读书时为了要证明自己不可以落后。可是今天我失败了。彻底的失败了。
或许长大后我会后悔,可是现在我不知道自己要该着么办。
要做自己不喜欢做的事,我办不到。
很抱歉我令我妈失望。很抱歉我令大家失望。
我只希望有人可以谅解我,体谅我。
我真的很对不起大家。因为自己很没有用。

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Yesterday went to Suntec city w sis to get some stuffs, but in the end got nothing also
So tmr gonna get what i want! Bcos i saw what i wanted alrdy :P
Yea, after sis left ytd, walked ard suntec city myself to spend the time away,
Bought an umbrella cos it's was raining.
Freaking scary :/ i tell you. The storms and lightning like foc x: !
Took bus to plaza singapura to meet weijie!
Had dinner at Pastamania! Wj's treat, like a miracle ahhh ! Hahahaha !
Walked aroundddddddd and waited for Kelvin to reach.
Went to lan after he had his dinner at KFC!
Blackshot at evolution ! &&&&I saw yuehan, lol :D
Left around 10+ ? & met kiansin ~
Went to Geylang to have dimsum. didn't eat bcos it's too fattening x:!
I want to slim down la ~
x: Then ahpui's friend and him came then waited for edmund to come
I think sat at there for 2 hours? -,-
Effing tired, reached home @ 2am ++
Seeing edmund drive seriously v scary LOL! Drive damn fast -,-
Ytd machiam like watching racing -,- LOL 

Friday, April 08, 2011

Reunion dinner.

Hehehehe!, today had a reunion dinner with Cherie, Weijie, Teckyeow, Navin, Yanxing and Jerry
It was awesome!
We had steamboat and played monopoly deal.
&&&&&&Weijie is the outdated one. hahahas !
But the funny part was when weijie threw his second Deal breaker and all of us was like " Throw ' say no ' card " but then yaaa too late -,-
Overall it was fun la ! :D
Sadly when we toy r us, i found out that i brought a camera without battery -,-
damn shaaaag :( 

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

阵样都好,今天学会了一样事。
真感伤的。
虽然很想哭,我还是要忍。

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

自我

说实在的,每当我要表现自己的时候我都会有阻碍。
那个阻碍就是我怕。我怕面对着众人,我怕说错话,我怕用错词被人取笑。
所以在外时我常常不开口因为我怕。。。
即时有时要开口的时候我放弃了。
对自己没信心,因为一紧张时都会说错话。然后大家都会用有色的眼光看着你。
我怕出丑,我也知道这是难免的。人人都会有出丑的一次,可是我就是难么在意人家对我的看法。
我也希望自己可以勇敢。可是我需要大家的支持我才能勇敢的踏出第一步。
更熟人的我和更不熟人的我是非常的不同。
更不太了解我的人来说,他们会觉得我很安静。事实上我不说话是因为有时我开口后又没人应我,这会然我觉得自己很无聊,没人想要回答我。或许也因为知道自己表达能力不好就不想说话。就这样有时我会避免去任何娶会为了避免人家着样看我。
但有时候还是会有我的疯狂的样子。
在熟人的面前的我可以尽不力气的作自己。因为我觉得他们不会在意我的人格。
现在呢,有时还会怀疑自己。去任何娶会时都会考虑好一阵子因为我会觉得自己会不会很多余。
对我最勤奋的是,每个娶会朋友都没忘记我。我非常开心。虽然还会考虑,去了后会觉得很奇怪,但万万没想到的是我玩得很开心。
去了后我也不后悔,也会觉得自己真的是他们的朋友。
当然这种也要我自己维持。
所以呢当学校开始后我想要多融入大家。
我会试着克服自己的障碍,因为现在就要靠自己不能每次都靠姐姐。
当然不能用口说要用行动。
所以我要努力!要加油!:D

Sunday, April 03, 2011

Old memories is still the best.

Hahahaha! Watching Channel 8 show now and it's @ Old changi hospital.
Hehehehehe, yea this reminded me about the crazy time i had whennnn i was sec 2 or 3?
Not sure but around there! I remembered that sis, me and few of our friends were so into haunted house.
&the first haunted house i went was old changi hospital! With my sister, Prem, bixin, lukchung, edmund, linglee hmmm still got who? kiansin ? Can't remembered every ones' name but it was an eye opening experience.
Cause that place is total old and wore out.
&someth really scared all of us out man! It was when we were walking up a slope, surrounding was quiet and clam and suddenly a gust of wind came! Like for 1 sec and clam again? I still remembered when that happened all of us were stunted and scared out ( i am ) but we continued to walk the way out. That's the most scary thing i could think of. Z:
Next i visited the red house, hmmm that place was really damp, maybe bcos that day rained or what? I can't remember but i knew the place was very damp.
In total i think i visited three or four haunted places in singapore
There's this time sis, chiajun, kiansin, ed and me visited the punggol one.
Okay the house had been surrounding by fences. ( Protected area )
&&&& we climbed in x: scared the hell out of me T.T not good in climbing and all ...
&i was stucked on top of the fence T,T ( embarrassed ) but still i managed to climb in and out of the fence.
Well, i didn't went in the house bcos i'm scared so ed acc me outside. Of course i regreted i didn't went in bcos the place i was standing was totally eerie maxxx. I heard lots of sounds at the area where it looked like a outdoor toilet? ( Look like but i don't know what is it. No roof ya ) besides hearing sounds i felt there's someth over there. Hmmm, i was damn relieved when they came back and joined us. V relieved i tell ya. T.T
Another one is, i don't know if you guys know about the abandoned kranji estate. I used to have lunch over there when i was v young. Dad brought us there to eat ya but not long after the place was abandoned. So there's this time dad drove past the area and sis and i told mum and dad about the area ... and daddy asked us ( me and sis ) want to go down and see anot. That was very surprising bcos daddy don't agree us to go such places. Since he asked first of course we said okay! So daddy, sis and me went down and walked ard the area. It felt weird ya, also i am scared bcos we walked separately -,- i don't have guts ya! So i quickly joined back my sis. Buildings were still ard, hawker, playground etcetc. All still around ya. &Dad found a bullet shell on the floor. Sooooo after what dad found we decided to leave the area bcos this area might not be safe. So we left ...
Hahahahahahs ! Hmmm didn't know i could still rmb so much but certainly i have lots of memory and i will typed them down when i am free :D !!


Saturday, April 02, 2011

Good afternoon ! :D
Wow, just now a butterfly flew in the house from the kitchen window
&the butterfly didn't manage to flew out due to it thought that the window can go through since it can be see through
So it kept flapping it wings and popo came in and bang the window to help it out.
Hhehehehe, luckily it finds it's way out :D
Happy for it, hahahahs !
Random buttttt i'm so boreddddd
fri, sat, sun always no plans for me :(

Friday, April 01, 2011

Well , as you can see changed blogskin.
I don't really like it, but when i got the time i would definitely change it to desire skin.

Happy April Fools'

Afternoon peeps! It's 1st of April soooooo today is April fools' day!
Gotta be alert today, if not you are being fool. :P